Bring Out Your Dead
by Slea
Summary: The dark side of being a survivor, Spoiler for the Siege 1 and 2.


My vision of the start of season two… some Spoilers involved. Characters are not mine I just barrowed them to whump on 'em"

spoiler for the siege 1and 2 as the new season hasn't started I will just add this is more than likely AU

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Bring out your dead.

Cyndi Smith

Death would have been so much easier. He thought as he cleaned his weapon. Jarring the clip into place and chambering the first bullet into the hand gun made a most inviting sound. After all it was only fair a life for a life. Dear God, how many times would he have to die to make up for the carnage he caused?

Atlantis was safe at least for now. The puddle jumper had done its job better than they had hoped. The explosion was so large that the shrapnel from the nuked hive ship had damaged the sister ship to the extent that they were able to barely able to limp away. They had won but not with out a great deal of loss.

To be honest John, wasn't sure why he wasn't among the dead. He landed the puddle jumper in the flight bay of the hive ship. He even remembered taking out the pilot of the small darter jet that was about to launch but he doesn't remember much after that. He supposed he flew the jet back to the planet. That only makes sense but since he had no way of telling anyone who he was it was only normal that they would shoot him out of the sky … luckily he must have figure out how to transport himself from the ship to Atlantis but not with out injury. It was actually Stackhouse who found him. He and his team were about to fire into the transport shield that emanated from the crashing dart but instead of being face to face with the pasty face soul leach. His Commanding officer materialized and then dropped to the ground in a lump.

The head wound was severe enough to cause amnesia but not severe enough to keep him from remembering the faces of those who where dead or missing, his friends, his family. The Daedalus would be returning to earth with the most seriously wounded and those whose bodies were found would also be returning home. One of the injured was Commander Elliot. He had been aged by one of the wraith. Carson doubted he would survive the trip home but at least he would be returning to his family.

The day after John was released from the infirmary he was asked to the commander's bed side. He was fairly sure he knew what was to be said. He would be going back to earth to face a court martial, charges, Murder…the question was how many counts.

Elliot looked so fragile. The major entered the room and snapped to attention. He almost didn't hear the order to be at ease, but when the words clicked he fell into a proper parade rest and awaited his fate.

"Do you remember what we talked about before the shit hit the fan …Major."

John just stared over his bed still standing in parade rest awaiting his dressing down.

"Yes sir." He acknowledged.

"Good… Cause I was not finished talking". His stern look faded. "..Unfortunately, I found out the hard way what you were trying to tell me. "

John blinked as his military stature began to crumble Elliot continued. "As that monster had his hand over my chest I recalled the words I had said to you. And I am sorry, sorry for what I said, sorry for not understanding. Sorry that you were not there when I needed you."

John was not sure what to think he should be getting ready to pack is bags and return to earth to face charges of murder. It was only right.

"Sir?"

"Major, I now…know that you were right. If I had been given a chance to be freed of that torturous pain… I too…would have taken it. God forgive me, for wishing more pain on you. I want you to know that I have dictated a personal letter to the powers that be clearing you from any wrong doing in the death of your commanding officer there will be inquiry. I now understand your actions and support them." The commander gave a small laugh, that sounded more like a cough. Then regaining his serious face he added. "You're a good soldier Major. Keep my boys safe, dismissed. ."

John didn't remember leaving the infirmary he didn't know how he got back to his room. All he knew was here he sat on his bed palming his newly cleaned sidearm and pressing the cold black weapon against his forehead.

He was again put in temporary command of the military of Atlantis. "Keep my boys safe", That was old school for your in charge keep my soldiers safe since about 10 of "men" he brought with him were women sadly enough most of them were dead and would not be returning home. Many of his troops were captured by the wraith and taken back to the hive ships. Who was on what ship he didn't know. It didn't really matter at this point . One of the ships was space dust and the other, well if they were lucky it wouldn't be back too soon. Unfortunately they would be back there would be more death and destruction. All this chaos was because of the premature waking up of Satan's children all because John Shepard had to play hero.

Each man woman and child had only one man to thank for the resurgences of their nightmares, one man, one soulless man. John slipped the weapon back into it holster. If he was lucky, his death would come soon enough, but not but not today, today he would have to go back to making amends for those whom died because of his vanity. Today he would bury his guilt, along with all the dead who would never go home again. Today his soul dies again but his body will live to fight another day.


End file.
